Monday, October 24, 2011

Rambles

I thought I'd try a different type of post today, one that has absolutely zero direction or structure. I'm tired of structure and today I feel like just writing out whatever random or strange thought comes to my head. In fact, this intro is too structured and it's going to end now.

Structure is so forced into my brain that I just caught myself starting a new paragraph for a new train of thought, how annoying! This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Okay, focus, focus, what am I thinking about? My nails since that's what I'm looking at. They're an ugly shade of gray right now because of the zombie crawl and the color needs to come off. I think I'm out of cotton balls though, shoot. And I'm too lazy to repaint them tonight, so maybe the grey is better than no color. I better be sure to get it off before they start fading or my sister will go nuts, she hates it when my nail polish fades, it's a weird pet peeve of hers. I secretly sometimes "forget" to remove the polish just because I know it drives her batty. Hehehe.

More paragraphs, I suck. Shakes it out, okay something else! I'm obsessed with my dogs. I only technically have 1 dog, but I watch my brothers so often that he's kind of mine too. They are the cutest chubby fluff balls ever and I just want to bury my face in them and kiss them over and over. They're too dirty though and that would cause my eyes to burn. I miss having Chloe sleep on my bed with me, but she sheds soooo much that it ruins my comforter. Diablo is another dirty dog that needs a bath, but bathing him was so stressful last time that I think it's better to leave him dirty LOL. Yep, I make myself laugh because I'm such a nut. I also talk to myself sometimes. I hear it's a sign of intelligence, but considering how many retard moments I have, I'm not so sure. It's only 9:10 and I am ready to pass out. What the heck happened to me? I used to stay up till 1am all the time and enjoy my "me" time, and now all I do is go to bed early, wake up, work, and go back to bed early- lame! I'm pretty sure this is all part of being a grown up, and I must admit that I do not like it one bit.

I can't fricken help myself. That previous paragraph was looking too long and therefore a new one must begin! Where did I come up with this random crap anyways? I wish I could just hook up an auto typer to my head and see what kind of nonsense it types out. Well that was interesting, I just got a phone call from an unknown number claiming my debit card is restricted, and it tried to transfer me to another line. It's a good thing my noggin still works eventhough I'm tired because I hung up and went straight to my banking site and my card is fine. This phishing for credit card infos is getting super old. I'm tired of fraud attempts on my account =( I don't even have a lot of money, go scam the rich people!

I'm pretty sure this is enough randomness and unstructed writing I can handle for one evening. I just reread some of it and cringed a tiny bit, so I apologize! But, to be entirely honest, it is quite fun to just type whatever you're thinking. I still censored myself though, ha! Wait till I practice this again and type what I'm REALLY thinking ;)

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

October 12th, 1976

This post is dedicated to a very special individual. On October 12th, 1976 Geoff was born in Minnesota, a day that I am very thankful for because it is the birthday of my boyfriend.


He is more than a boyfriend though. He's my best friend that I can confide absolutely anything to, he's my support system when I am upset and need someone to lean on, and he's the man that still gives me butterflies every single time he smiles at me. We've been dating for about 5 years, but I knew him before that and so we have been through a lot together. 

He is my constant in a chaotic world and knows me better than most. He is an absolutely goof ball and still makes me laugh every single day. He is undoubtedly the best person to ever come into my life.

Geoff, Happy Birthday hunie. I love you more than words can express.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Past Experiences

I haven't blogged about anything in awhile, and was reminded of that today by a good friend. I love to blog, but life has been a little crazy so I haven't had much time to come up with anything witty to post about.

Tonight I was thinking about the ever famous idea claiming that past experiences make you who you are today. While some challenges you go through in life have undoubtedly made us all stronger people and allow us to deal with similar conflicts in the future, there are some past experiences that are just a real pain in the ass.

It seems that almost everyone has gone through some sort of traumatic experience before. The level of trauma is entirely relative to each person and has affected them in some way. Yes, we become stronger from these experiences whether it's in the form of being more cautious, or not so gullible, but they also damage us in some way.

Like most people, I had a traumatic experience when I was younger, and lately it has been resurfacing in my head a lot. It brings back a lot of fear and pain, and makes me wonder how much of my personality today stemmed from my past. If this one short event had not happened, would I still be so frightened and sensitive all of the time?

I would love to see a peek of the person I might have turned out to be if the event didn't happen. Would I still be exactly as I am, or would I be an entirely different person? Unfortunately, unless I find a time travelling device I'll never know, and I suppose I'm not meant to know either.

It's important to remember though that one tiny action may last 5 minutes and seem insignificant to you, may actually change someone else's life completely.