Thursday, June 30, 2011

The sound of thunder

I puppy sit my brothers dog, Dakota, for him after work because my brother works insane hours and is never home to take care of the dog himself. Like my brother and I, our dogs are also siblings, so I love to keep them together so they can play.

While I was driving home from work, it started storming with rain and thunder and I immediately frowned. My brother's dog is incredibly terrified of storms, thunder and lighting specifically- this means I am going to have a very long evening.

I let him out of his crate and lead him upstairs to the doggy door connected to our laundry room and try to usher him outside. The rain is just drizzling at this time, but on comes the doggie e-brake regardless. I put my shoes on and step outside into the doggy pen myself (this sometimes convinces him that it is in fact safe outside and he'll follow, but not today) Our outdoor adventure went something like this:

*me standing outside in the drizzling rain and mud* "Dakota, hunie, come out! See it's safe out here."

A big flash of lightning strikes in the distance followed by the rolling boom of thunder

*Dakota backs up from the door and looks at me like I'm fricken insane*

"No really Dakota, It's not that bad. I'll give you a cookie if you come out!" (he really likes dog cookies)

*Dakota gets excited from hearing the word, cookie, and spins in circles because he is conflicted by wanting cookies versus stepping outside into the storm of loud booms that will surely eat him*

*Dakota pees all over the floor, missing the linoleum entirely and instead aims for the carpeted floor mat*

I end up having to clean up pee from the floor mat for the next 10 minutes because I have to spend 5 of it looking for the carpet cleaner I know we have 20 bottles of, but somehow can't even find 1.

The good news is, he went potty and will be set for the next few hours. Here's to hoping the storm clears up before he has to go again.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Business and Social Networking

I have stumbled upon the crazy world of business social networking. I used to think social networking was for well, being social with friends, but have discovered that there's a huge business aspect behind it that I am just now peeking into.

After doing some research on internet marketing for the business, I have read numerous posts that we should be using the same social networking sites that we use for personal use, for business. This includes facebook, twitter, myspace, linkedin, and blogs. I can barely keep up my own blog, and now I have to figure out how to manage one for a business? I think I'm in big trouble.

We started a facebook, twitter, and myspace for the business awhile back and have a decent sized fan base, but it's no where near what I'd love it to be. As a merchant facebook account, you can't actually interact with personal facebook profiles outside of your business page, so you have to do it via other methods. I read I should use my personal account to drive fans to the business page, and that I should also post links on blogs, emails, etc about the facebook page: (Insert shameless attempt at getting more facebook fans)

So far what I've read about it though is I basically get to sit and chat with people and network with others online in order to grow our pages. It's a crazy world but it's a really cheap (mostly free) way of advertising, so I can't knock it. Plus, I do get some sick satisfaction from being able to chat on facebook while I'm at work! :)

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

50 Ways to Annoy a Metal Head

Was going through some old files and found this hilarious list I had saved on how to annoy a metal head! I love heavy metal, so this definitely made me giggle. Enjoy!

50 Ways To Annoy A Metalhead

1. Tell them every metal band worships the devil.
2. Ask if all black metal bands are trying to copy KISS or just most of them.
3. Hide their joint under their library card.
4. Ask if they know of any other cool bands like Slipknot.
5. If they're listening to metal, tell them it sounds like some mainstream band. Doesn't matter who.
6. Say it's all a ripoff of Iron Butterfly anyway.
7. Ask if they've given their souls to Jesus yet.
8. Vaguely imply that you're gay and would like their company for the evening.
9. Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference.
10. Refuse to accept their fake I.D.
11. Ask how much Dio got paid for his role as Stuart Little.
12. Use the phrase "cookie monster vocals" and act like it's the funniest, most original thing you've ever come up with.
13. If they're listening to metal, tell them "These guys don't have talent. Now (insert any mainstream band here), those guys have talent!"
14. Say "What is vinyl?"
15. Point out how homosexual Manowar is. If they agree, tell them the only thing more homosexual is Black Sabbath with Dio.
16. Tell them it all sounds the same.
17. Admit that Cliff Burton was a dirty hippy who had already peaked musically.
18. If they say they love 80s metal, ask them what ever happened to Poison.
19. Tell them you like underground music too, like (insert the newest overhyped fashionable loud-ish band from the radio)
20. Point out that Tarja from Nightwish can't sing.
21. Insist that Emperor videos would be better if they used a dance troupe.
22. Ask if Mayhem is Marilyn Manson's band.
23. Divert their CD shipments to the local Jewish community center.
24. Write "God Loves You" on their Venom backpatch.
25. Point out that just about every genre of music has an underground with bands who have integrity, so metal really isn't that unique.
26. Post under their nickname on a power metal board and say Ray Alder nutss all over John Arch.
27. Take out the Iron Maiden disc and put in 50 Cent.
28. Give them a spiky pop-punk haircut while they sleep.
29. Pronounce "Celtic Frost" correctly.
30. If they're over 25, say that people can still rock even if they have an unplanned child or two and drive a grocery getter. Then point and laugh.
31. Tell them you're not hiring and to try the other Cinnabon down the street.
32. Sit quietly and applaud politely at a metal show.
33. Make them be sober for five whole seconds.
34. Ask if Randy Rhoads was on the same flight as John Denver.
35. Tell them Korn brought metal back to life in the 90s.
36. Turn the bass way up on their stereo.
37. Laugh at Slayer for stealing their name from the Buffy show.
38. Call Doro fat.
39. Call them on their horrible grammar and/or spelling.
40. Remind them that metal is partially derived from the blues. Then accuse them of being wiggers.
41. Use the phrase "balls in a vice" at least three times when talking about classic metal and/or power metal vocalists.
42. If it's a guy with long hair, address him as if he were female. Don't correct yourself about it.
43 .Be impressed with how much RoadRunner Records has improved over the past ten years.
44. Say you love Metallica's debut, The Black Album.
45. Notice that Lemmy hasn't moved his left hand in 30 years of playing bass.
46. Refer to metal as "that kill-your-father rape-your-mother stuff."
47. Ask them if their favorite band is so good, how come nobody has ever heard of them.
48. Pine for the good old days when Pour Some Sugar On Me was a big hit.
49. Tell them you used to be a metalhead, but grew out of it when you started listening to more intellectual stuff like (insert any band at all here)
50. Post a list of "Ways To Annoy Metal Fans" knowing full well that so many of them internalize everything and can't take a joke.